Psychology related articles and news

Recent psychology news

A Self-Critical Eye

A career in art may mean bad body image.

Future Brain Technology

I love reading about the inerface of computer technology and the brain, and CNN this week had a great story about new memory devices being developed.

Sexual Harassment in the Work Environment

Sexual Harassment in the Work Environment Management, which show how personnel practitioners are positively tackling equal opportunities issues.

Recent psychology articles

Love at first sight?

Yes, men think so...or is it 'lust' at first sight? How can a woman or man 'really' know?

If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you to be this man).

Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in and kind of spoil it.

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.

'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were. See how selfish we as people really are?!

Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated, individualistic cultural society).

You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler' people.

If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural attraction.

This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is slightly different for men and women.

Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a mans character attributes because that are things that can be of interest for the long haul.

These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself wrong to her right away.

She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just 'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex 'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance novels).

Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'.

If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not screw it up."

Sure the movie ends with a kiss but who has the control here? Whose reality is he in? Love at first sight, but he is based in the wrong paradigm of 'being' that he WILL screw it up because of the power dynamics and several other factors (she is in control by far).

In fact, you will almost put aside the entire notion of 'love at first sight' because it's too romancey for you (although you may secretly keep that dream alive); but you understand reality a little more, that different relationships with different women are going to give you different experiences.

Of course you may be aware of lust at first sight with women you see most everywhere you go, but you really have to get to know her more to find out who she is, otherwise it is all just perception.

If you can develop yourself to look as good as you can and get your internal paradigm and life straight and clear, then you can naturally accelerate the process of attracting women and starting things with little effort. Your focus should really be on developing yourself and living in a natural paradigm, while denying all of the perceptual B.S. that is going on. Be an interesting and intriguing man and improve yourself; HAVE something to offer women who are lucky enough.

Your 'love at first sight' from their point of view only happens if you match their social ideal (and traditional ideal of Prince Charming) and then know how to take everything from there...then all women will want you. You do not have to be Prince Charming..that is another article, but remember how you relate to her says everything. She needs to be turned up like a volume knob and you have to interact with her to spark the process of sexual attraction and her interest will grow in you...through time, may lead to infatuation, love, great respect, devotion, passion, etc. from her.

It is all in how you relate to her so don't pay too much attention to having to have Brad Pitt looks, with Soros' bank account...that's the same as you wanting to date a supermodel, except you probably have a better chance than she does to meet your ideal because there are so few men left who really get it and are a great catch in their own right (with some nice social status to boot).

There are countless beautiful women. The advantage and favor is in YOUR hands. There are few men left who are awesome catches AND who know how to deal with these women. Make women want you just by being your true self at all times; an interesting, funny, great guy and know how to take it from there (I can help you there as well).

Author Info:

Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating. You can sign up for the free newsletter just by visiting his website 'http://www.mensguidetowomen.com/E_player.htm' You will receive some free bonuses as well and you can then read about his 352 page unabridged 'Men's Guide to Women' instantly downloadable eBook. It will change the way you think about dating and women forever.

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The appeal of a bad boy

So what is it about the 'bad boy' that attracts women so strongly to them?

In case you did not know, a healthy traditionally raised woman would run as far away as she can from a bad boy because she knows that he will bring too much drama, pain and hurt to her in the long run. In a traditional society that is not influenced by popular American culture, the bad boy is seen as an outcast of society (unless idolized from American cinema).

They're only real chance used to be with slummy women or those who were on the outside of society as well. Now of course the bad boy is glorified, as he is often the answer to a lot of our so called 'bitches' (in a respectful sense of those that define themselves as such) and their need for social validation on their level and also to keep them in check in the more traditional male-female relationship dynamic.

It is important for you to realize that bad boys do have a lot of drama, and troubles. Traditional women, I have seen personally stay away from these kinds of men.

I think if you can be a natural man and yet still possess some of these characteristics will still been in control of them, you will be able to also appeal to a woman's social persona as well. This means doing things like being a little bit cocky, teasing her, enforcing your independent boundaries and generally not giving a damn.

Today's women are so desperate for the underlying male-female relationship dynamic where the man is really the one in control, that they will often settle for bad boys and loser type jerks only because they treat them in the traditional dynamic of not letting them get away with crap.

A traditional woman does not have to try to get away with crap, because she doesn't have crap that she is coming with to get away with. She is MUCH simpler and this is not a bad thing. This is why a normal healthy nice guy can easily attract a traditional woman anywhere in the world (as I've done dozens of times) and be fascinated how everything just is 'natural'.

It is this 'cultural differentiation' especially that allows me to bring a great level of insight to the table. If you are a nice guy or a great catch, you should not want to become a bad boy just in order to get women because that may be all that you are a seeing that is going on and is not the only solution (not to mention unhealthy if you really aren't like that).

A bad boy is successful with our (American) independent, hot women because he does not let them get away with crap. He knows how to naturally trigger the physiological and emotional response mechanisms of attraction in her because he is playing a strong male role that she is biologically forced to respond to.

There is a high amount of leverage in these women that will either work for you or against. She can be repulsed by one man and that same energy, even more strongly attracted to another. Maybe you have seen this in front of your very eyes.

Nothing has really changed when you look beneath it all, because our women find that none of their 'real' counterparts are acting like men anymore, so they end up going with the bad boy or someone who they know is not healthy to be around, yet is the only one that is giving her the natural triggers of uncontrollable attraction which is irresistible to her.

My good news for you is that you do not have to become a bad boy, like I said, you can actually be a pure natural who is above the level of player status when it comes to attracting women and being successful with them.

Nice guys still have a chance but only if they really understand the concepts which I cover in my "Men's Guide to Women".

Author Info:

Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have 'natural success with women' and dating. You can sign up for the free newsletter just by visiting his website 'http://www.mensguidetowomen.com/E_player.htm' You will receive some free bonuses as well and you can then read about his 352 page unabridged 'Men's Guide to Women' instantly downloadable eBook. It will change the way you think about dating and women forever.

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